The litigation

Once the biscuit detached itself from the factory frontage it was downhill all the way to the post office, where the postmaster found it the following morning wedged above the revolving door. The fire department cut it free, but ever after a six-foot schism in the brick remained, a reminder of the folly of decorating with outsized confectionery, or at least of skimping on superglue.

Mr McVittle was sued, of course: by the Royal Mail, and afterwards by the fire department, who had demolished every crumb and only too late, when their stomachs objected, discovered the biscuit was entirely plywood.

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