It was the world’s most expensive golf course, and the most dangerous, and it went roughly like this:
Hole one. Bunkers, two. Water hazards, two.
Hole two. Miles of fairway, six. Zeppelins, six.
Hole three. Large cliff, one.
Hole four. Mines, innumerable.
Hole five. Tigers.
Hole six. Vacuum.
Hole seven. Gateaux, Black Forest: fifty-three.
Hole eight. Hole.
Hole nine. Big hole.
Hole ten. Black hole.
Hole eleven. Knitting needles.
Hole twelve. Tigers, peckish.
Hole thirteen. Frigate.
Hole fourteen. Pigeons.
Hole fifteen. Here be dragons.
Hole sixteen. Unpasteurised cheese.
Hole seventeen. Tigers, hungry, cross.
Hole eighteen. No tigers to be seen.